Someone Other Than Me Better Use This Blog!!!!!

Okay ladies, it's been quite a while since someone other than me used this blog!!!!! But I forgive you. Just wanted to update you on my life since we are all busy and because that is the purpose of this blog!!!! Right!!!!!!! lol So here it goes:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."

1 John 4:18

Sunday was the day I had been praying for since May. The day I had been faithfully waiting for. The day my love and parents and friends have been encouraging me to never give up on. (yes you did see the words "my love," details later). Sunday was my first day as a nurse on a hospital unit.

I love keeping journals and writing blogs like these. Not just for others to read (although my hope is that through my words and experiences a life is changed and seeds are sown), but I do this more for me. To read and look back and see all of the good and bad. To see how far God has taken me. To laugh and cry and realize that life with God truly is an adventure. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is truly the way the truth and the life!

I looked back today. Remembering all of the tears, lonely nights, doubts, and fears I had about life back home, life after college. I looked back at the process, the mistakes I made, and the victories I had and I realized:

-that everything under the sun has its seasons,

-Everything truly does work out for those who love and seek God,

-His grace is sufficient,

-and that a man can plan his life, but God is the one who orders their steps.

I love when the word of God becomes life to a person. They aren't just words on pages anymore. I love moments like these.

So back to Sunday. It was exciting and nerve-wrecking all at the same time. So many things to remember, and so many things you forget. You feel awkward and confident in some areas, happy, and scared all at the same time. And I can already see how easy it is to join the masses of burnt-out, gossipy, average nurses. This is going to be hard. But I know that He is good. That all He does is good. So I put my life in His hands, Taking one day at a time. Because I am His alone and because His perfect love casts out all fear. I will set my eyes on Him. I know who I am in Him. No matter what happens, the mistakes I have made and will make, I am His and His alone. I am His nurse, His daughter, His friend, His beloved.

On a lighter, but not less important note: I found someone!! Well I guess we found each other. His name is Walas and he is changing me. It is rare to meet people in your life that cause you to draw closer to God, that makes you want to be a better woman, and that you know, no matter what happens, they will leave a footprint on your heart. I have met him and I am so blessed to have him in my life.

Oh and on Sunday, one of my patients called me "the sweet girl from Montana who they made a movie about." Yes I know, it sucks being as hot as Hannah Montana!!!!!!!

Love,

Jovy

Ps. I miss you guys!!!

The Eucharist

I am currently reading "Jesus Wants to Save Christians" and I am loving it. It gets better and better every chapter. Rob Bell uses the bible so much in his stories that it makes me hungry for more! In the chapters that I have been reading he talks about The Eucharist. He tells us that the Greek word for "Thankful" is from the verb eucharizomai-the Greek word eu, which means "well" or "good" and the word charizomai, which means "to grant or give." Which is where we get the English word Eucharist, the "good gift." He goes on describing the profound meaning of the Eucharist and how Jesus is the good gift and how we are also the good gift to the world.

He asks the question:
What does it look like for us to be a Eucharist for the people here and now? In other words what is the church supposed to look like? "What does it look like for us to break ourselves open and poor ourselves out for the healing of these people (the lost, the hungry, the angry, the rich, the poor) in this time and place?"
The Eucharist is people. The Eucharist is the church. We are the good gift.

I love this:
"Our destiny, our future, and our joy are in the Eucharist, using whatever blessing we've received, whatever resources, talents, skills, and passions God has given us, to make the world a better place. Disconnection from the suffering of the world, isolation from the cry of the oppressed, indifference to the poverty around us will always lead to despair." I don't ever want to be disconnected from my destiny. From the cry of those who are broken, fatherless, and hopeless. Because my life will mean nothing. It will lead to despair.

So my loves, we all have received the truth in our lives and God has given you the gift to heal and so many others. Go and be the Eucharist today. Connect yourself with the cry of the world.

Because we were made for so much more!!!

Love you,
Jovy

Such a Beautiful Surrender

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalms 37:4

It's crazy how truly mysterious God is. You can be a Christian your whole life, and still be amazed at His awesomeness. You can convince yourself that you know it all and yet we really know nothing. Oh how He loves us and cares about every detail of our lives. If only we could truly grasp how wide, long, high, and deep His love is for us. Everything, all the things of this Earth, would fade away.

I know that since we parted ways in May, the things of this Earth have hit us hard!!! Some with heartache, some with school, some with family, and some with economic hardships. But I just wanted to remind you of His Sovereignty. Our God is still the same God who spoke to you in your dreams. The same God who got you through senior paper. The same God who took you places you could've never imagined. The same God who held you in His arms those nights you cried "why God, why." The same God who showed you that you are His nurse and nobody else's. He is the God who was, and is, and is to come.

Remember my friends where you came from, where you are now, and where you are going is all because of His love for you.

"Surrender has somehow become so beautiful" -Mutemath

I love you,
Jovy

Can one truly master Patience...?

Question: do u ever get to a point in ur life when being patient and waiting on the Lord becomes easier- is it something that one can master after years of practice...? Season after season I have thought about this, lol. Idk, maybe its God's way of keeping things fresh or maybe redirecting our eyes and our focus on Him...? Wat do u think?
-B

It Will Be Okay!

My loves,

I was reading post secrets today instead of writing my ethical issue paper.... =/

and I came across this._--> 

People like that makes it all worth the stress and battles we fought/fighting/and will fight in the nursing world.

You are not your mind...

I know this may seem a little trippy to some of you...but give it a chance because once you truly understand it, it will blow your mind...haha, literally! enjoy :)

"Identification with your mind causes thought to become compulsive. Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this b/c almost everyone is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being. It also creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering. ...The compulsive thinker, which means almost everyone, lives in a state of apparent separateness, in an insanely complex world of continuous problems and conflict, a world that reflects the ever-increasing fragmentation of the mind. ....Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationships. It comes between you and yourself between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and your God. A belief may be comforting. Only through your own experience, however does it become liberating. Thinking has become a disease. Disease happens when thinking gets out of balance (as cells do when dividing and multiplying in the body becomes out of balance and causes cancer). ...The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly- you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken over you. You are unconsciously identified with it. ...The moment you learn to go beyond this thinker a higher level of consciousness becomes activated; you begin to realize that thought is only a tiny aspect of intelligence. You realize that all the things that truly matter- beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace- arise from beyond the mind." E. Tolle- from The Power of Now (great book by the way)
Of course for us, as believers, we begin to awaken or are reborn when we come to Christ and come to the knowledge and understanding of His being and His power which, through the Holy Spirit is in us as well. But I love how Tolle breaks down the different layers of...I guess being. He's talking about how occupied and involved we are with our thoughts and the things that go through our minds. I don't know about you guys, but I can literally spend hours just thinking...whether its abuot the future or current situations, whatever it may be I begin to create my own reality and understanding about things, or even other people. Sometimes I act and react based on these thoughts (don't act like you haven't done it). Tolle says that when we learn to go beyond our thoughts there is a vast realm of intelligence that often goes untouched. He's saying that once we can seperate ourselves from this screen of though that sometimes creates illusions, we begin to look deep beyond the level of physical appearances.... All this reminds me of the acronym for FEAR- false evidence appearing real.
I know this all sounds kinda New Age'y, but I just find it fascinating! 
Let me know what you think.
-B

Resumes, Cover Letters, Applications Oh My!

My loves,


First of all can I just say you all are truly irreplaceable!! It has been so unbelievably hard to adjust to post-grad life. But I'm so excited about our new journey as student nurses (Rosa & Kelly) and new grad nurses (Me, Abs, Beri, & Mel). Don't get me wrong though, it took me months to be excited about it!!! To update some of you who may not know here's what I've been up to post-grad. 

Jovy's Life Post-Grad May-July 29th 2010....

Sleep

Countless Studying for NCLEX

Sleep some more

Study Study and more freakin' studying.

A little bit of unnecessary drama in between all of that and finally as you all know I am officially Jovy, RN, BSN. Now I'm where Beri is at. Resumes, cover letters, and applications galore (and extreme boredom that has resorted to watching Hannah Montana, learning origami, and baking). It is crazy how desperate you get after a couple of applications and set backs. You honestly do start settling. I applied for float ICU. That would be death to me if I actually got the job! The one thing that is really frustrating about the job search adventures is that it kills me to know that I have seen and worked with, excuse my negativity, nurses who I have no idea why they are in this field. It makes me angry! For all of us nursing isn't just a job, its what we feel called to. We want to do so much more with nursing, We are different. And it frustrates me that positions are given to burnt-out, gossipy, stubborn, nurses because they have experience. Oh and don't you love Obama? Ha! It's really funny when people always tell me "oh it will be easy to find a job as a nurse, there's so many positions available online." Reallyyyyy!!! Tell me where all those new grad positions are so abundantly available? Because I only see 2-3 a week, if I am lucky! Out of the 2-3, 0-1 email me back, not even call, to say sorry we cannot give you the position.

I love that I could be real with you guys and you all understand what it's like. Because people may think they know, but they really don't know! Nursing school was killer and it doesn't get easier after. At least not instantly! But through out all of this God has been unbelievably amazing! I love journaling and throughout my season as a college student I kept journals for every new year. It's so amazing to look back and see all that He has done. Really! I know it sounds cliche, but I am so grateful for all that He had to do to get me to this day. Yes I am unemployed, but the love, education, and friends I have gained on this journey to becoming His nurse gives me such hope for the future. 

You guys know Kelly S. from our class? Something she said to me really ministered to my heart. 

"Haha, I let you know when I feel hardcore.... I'm not there yet! Yes! I agree with you! At first, I didnt think that the job I have now was going to be what I really wanted. But, God has totally blessed me, with my schedule and my main preceptor for orientation was amazing. She is a christian and it made work so much more positive! (nurses can get so negative sometimes) And everyday that I am there, I can feel God's grace to do my job. I know this is exactly where I am supposed to be. So as long as you follow God... He will bless you beyond your own expectations and the right job will be there! When I was trying to figure out where to live after school you told me, to go where God is going to really help (or make) me grow the most. I'm there. :)"

Okay first of all, Kelly's heart is so beautiful!! I loved getting to know her last semester. When she told me that it re-focused my heart and mind. I was so caught up in the fact that I NEEDED  a job and I NEEDED it right now that I forgot how beautiful God orchestrates our life. I know that I won't have to settle with Him. I know that I will feel that it is where I am supposed to be. Just like all the decisions I have made and places I have been, I will know. My God has been with me, and will always be! So my loves, don't forget that as cliche as it sounds, He really does have a plan for your life. I am so honored to know you and have you all in my life. Don't let life numb the places in your heart God has stored dreams in.

Love you guys,

Jovy

BAM!!!! It's official, Jovy, RN, BSN